Things I have learned


After the numerous health issues I have had for the past six years, especially a cancer diagnosis this past Thanksgiving, I have decided to list a lot of the important lessons I have learned. I feel like everyone can use a reminder of the good things that can come out of bad situations. I know on the days where I really struggle, these learned lessons are great reminders that it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.

I’ve learned that you cannot make someone remain your friend. All you can do is be the best friend possible. If they decide that they can’t handle you at your worst, they don’t deserve to be around for your best.

I’ve learned that no matter how much I want things to change, some things are just out of my control. (Especially the removal of certain tv shows from Netflix…I’m so disappointed)

I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I’ve learned that no matter how good a friend or family member is, they’re human and they are going to hurt you occasionally. Forgive them.

I’ve learned that it’s not important to have material things in your life, but it is important to have people that love you and that you can trust in your life that counts.

I’ve learned that you should never ruin an apology with an excuse.

I’ve learned that charm and good looks can only get you so far. Knowledge and wit will get you farther.

I’ve learned that you can’t compare yourself to others, because no one has walked in your shoes. No one in the world has had the exact same experiences as you.

I’ve learned that it only takes a single moment to break your own heart.

I’ve learned that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be. I am not there yet, but I will be there one day.

I’ve learned that you should always tell someone you love them as soon as you know. It may be the only chance you get to tell them.

I’ve learned that you can keep going long after you think you can’t. Don’t give up.

I’ve learned that we are responsible for all of our actions, no matter how we feel. Don’t let feelings influence all of your actions. You may regret them.

I’ve learned that you can only control your own attitude, not that of other people. How you react to a situation shows who you are. How they react shows who they are.

I’ve learned that passion is not always necessary in a relationship, because it fades over time. It’s better to fall in love with your best friend, because when the passion is gone, you have the comfort, love and friendship of another person to fall back on.

I’ve learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. While our service men and women are most certainly heros, they are not the only ones in the world. Sometimes a hero is simply a little kid standing up for another kid who is getting bullied.

I’ve learned that money doesn’t buy happiness. It can help, but there are so many stories of billionaires and celebrities being miserable even when they have all the money in the world. Money creates greed and it destroys relationships.

I’ve learned that my best friend and I can do absolutely nothing, not even talk, and still have the best time.

I’ve learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up. And those that you expect to help you up are the ones that walk away after you fall.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel to anyone else.

I’ve learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. Long distance isn’t for the fearful. It is for the brave.

I’ve learned that just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.

I’ve learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated. I know people that are mature at 21 and others who are completely immature at 75. (talking to you dad…. (: )

I’ve learned that you should always tell children that their dreams are obtainable. Even if you don’t truly believe it, because no one should have their hopes squashed. Let them retain their innocence for as long as possible. The world is already hard enough to handle.

I’ve learned that your family isn’t always biological. Sometimes, they aren’t worth your time. Pick the people you want around you, and they will be your family.

I’ve learned that I have to forgive myself for the things I regret. It isn’t someone else’s job to make me happy.

I’ve learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief. Even if you feel like the world has stopped spinning for you, you must remember that everyone else keeps on moving.

I’ve learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I’ve learned that it is far better to be rich in love and friendship than it is to be rich in monetary ways.

I’ve learned that just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.

I’ve learned that all things in life constantly change – friendships, animals, school teachings…etc.

I’ve learned that sometimes, secrets can break you. It’s not always smart to always want to know everything.

I’ve learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different. Art is a perfect way to determine this.

I’ve learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I’ve learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a loved one asks for help, you will find the strength to give more

I’ve learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. Case in point, some doctors are horrible, and others will bend over backwards to show you how much they care.

I’ve learned that the people you care about most in life are what matters. Not material goods. Focus on relationships, not buying things.

I’ve learned that it’s hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people’s feelings, and standing up for what you believe.

I’ve learned that its hard to determine which bridge to cross and which to burn. You will make mistakes with this. It’s never easy.

I’ve learned that you can be in a room full of people and still feel completely and utterly alone.

I’ve learned that we need to go with the flow. Trying to control everything just leads to stress and worry. It is detrimental to your health.

I’ve learned that life is about the journey, not the destination. Think about it, the destination is death. Life is for the living, embrace all aspects of it.

I’ve learned that people deserve a second chance. But no more than that. Remember that saying “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me? Second chances are great. Third, fourth, fifth and so on chances are mistakes.

I’ve learned that being manipulative may get you the things you want, but it will not give you the respect and love of others.

I’ve learned that helping others helps me. Not because it makes me feel better about myself, but because it gives me time to stop worrying about my own struggles.

I’ve learned that having low expectations can be good because sometimes high expectations can never be reached and then you will always be disappointed.

I’ve learned that honesty is freeing and as a result, you don’t lie. When you don’t lie, you don’t have to worry about remembering the lies you told.

I’ve learned that being brutally honest doesn’t always win you friends, but people will respect you for it.

I’ve learned that I have to live now, not worry so much about how I will live in the future. The future is not guaranteed.

I’ve learned that not everyone understands sarcasm. Be careful about how you say things.

I’ve learned that being an asshole gets you no where in life. It just makes it so that you are forever alone.

I’ve learned that you need to consider all advice given to you. If you don’t want advice, don’t ask for it, especially if you won’t even consider it. People will eventually get fed of with giving it to you.

But most importantly, I’ve learned that I need to change how I view failure. Failures help make you great. As long as I am breathing, I am not failing. I am simply finding ways to do things that do not work.


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